Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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