that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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