She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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