is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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