dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
