White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
