Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
