the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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