i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
