got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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