He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
