Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need a beard to bite.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
