I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
sarcasm needs its own font
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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