you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize