People with herpes should wear stickers.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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