I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You need a sexual gate keeper
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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