her vagine was all disorganized.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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