i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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