Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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