Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He has the fingertips of a God
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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