Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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