that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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