What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
