some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
