Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
They are going to name an STD after you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
