The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i now understand why vodka
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
