you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
