help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Never joke about your clitoris.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
