I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize