Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
