are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
