Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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