No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
