My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
