..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
