I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize