It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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