Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize