you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
NoShamevember. You game?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
