I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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