Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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