I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
