You work out of a Hotel?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
