we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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