So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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