you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
