i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The best revenge is premature balding
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize