I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
