The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize