whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
