I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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