The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.