Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?