You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she pinky promised me she was 18
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
