somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
