so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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