I want to walk on stilts...naked
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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