but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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