I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize